I served for six years in the famed 101st Airborne Division as part of
the 3rd Brigade 187th Infantry regiment. I served overseas in Afghanistan in
2002 where I suffered injuries that would cause me to be medically discharged
in 2004. When I got out I knew I had issues i.e. PTSD but I was embarrassed
because I knew there were others that had done far more and seen much worse
than I did and were fine. I shoved all those feelings deep inside and said I
would be fine. I had a wedding called off 4 weeks before our weeding date and I
blamed it on her. Looking back, I can now see that it was me who was the issue
and have sought to get help through the VA and Wounded Warrior Project. I can
now see recent times where I have hurt my wife and 4 boys with my up and down
mood swings and anger bursts. In 2013 I decided that I would give endurance
sports a chance to help with weight loss and give me something I lost when I
left the Army. I completed a sprint triathlon at 279 lbs. and got hooked. I
found that when talking about doing a full ironman I could relate it to when I
talked about jumping out of airplanes. People would say that's crazy why would
anyone do that, same thing people said to me when I talked about the army. The
next year in 2014 with the help of Wounded Warrior Project I trained for and
completed my first Ironman branded race Ironman Augusta 70.3. It was truly a
learning experience having never had a coach before I learned a lot. In 2015 I
joined X3 Endurance team and got a new coach that was more intense with different
training methods. I told him that I wanted to do an Ironman 140.6 and he talked
me out of it. He said he would rather me complete two 70.3 races in the same
year to slowly build my endurance. It was during the 2015 season that I could
see the cracks of my PTSD really coming through. I had quit drinking and many
other unhealthy things in order to train correctly. It was here that I began to
stress over missed workouts and bad races. At first I thought I was just
getting burnt out on all the training I was doing added with home life stress
of a wife and four boys. I started not caring and about life and found little
joy in breathing let alone training or racing. I pushed through into 2016
having lost my second job that year I said I will do a full Ironman this year
cause I have all the time in the world to train. I paid for and signed up for
Chattanooga 70.3 and Chattanooga 140.6 and started training. My coach was on
board and we started out great. I found myself sinking quickly into more
depression that I could handle and started to give up not only on racing but
life. I planned out and almost went through with killing myself but stopped
instead. In may 2016 having not trained much I went through with and completed
Chattanooga 70.3 in my worst time in any race that distance. I talked with my
therapist about all the stress and we decided it would be best to drop
everything and focus on getting healthy. It’s here that the journey really
begins and my battle vs PTSD will be overcome by taking on Ironman Louisville
140.6 in October 2017.
